Sometimes . . .

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Sometimes, you just don’t know what to say.

Sometimes, words fail you.

Sometimes, it seems that no matter what comes to you, it just can’t heal the ache in your heart.

And that’s how it is today. The ache in my heart is big and my tears are many. My friend, Tammy Draper, passed away.

In the time since her death, I’ve done nothing else but think about the huge hole she has left in her family and in our community.

Tammy had so many friends. She was involved in everything. If there was something that needed organized, she was there, lending a helping hand.

I knew her best in the role of 4-H leader. Just a couple of weeks ago, we had a long discussion about why we felt 4-H was so important to our families. She wanted her boys to learn responsibility, leadership and determination. She spent hours volunteering for the organization just to give her kids – and mine – those kinds of opportunities.

I admired her for that and so much more. She knew what was important and didn’t let the little things like the fact her house wasn’t in Martha Stewart condition 24/7 bother her. It was infinitely more important to her to be at a ballgame cheering her kids on, or working in the barn alongside her family. She had her priorities straight.

She always had a smile and I can hear her laughing even now. She and her husband were a great team, working together always. Her mission in life was to raise her boys to be men that they would be proud of some day. And you know what? She was well on the way to accomplishing that goal.

I can’t think of that without the tears falling. But I know Tammy. And I know she wouldn’t want her memory to keep us from continuing on. She would much rather have us put our energy into continuing the things she loved so much. She would want the livestock shows and ballgames to go on.

And so I will. I will continue on, knowing that her spirit is with me. And if I pause, every now and then to let the tears fall, I know she will understand.

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4 thoughts on “Sometimes . . .

  1. Kathy Dreher shared the news with me Saturday night…and I was in shock. I’m so sad for her family, friends and the 4-H community. What a wonderful tribute that you’ve shared. Hugs and prayers, my friend.

  2. Holly, every time I read this my heart saddens for my Dad and my little brothers. But, at the same time you said it best…she was always positive and hoping for the best. Looking out for everyone else-never selfish. Lending a hand to anyone. Life is too short… Whenever I would come down and stay with Dad and Tammy, I always looked up to their relationship. They were always having a good time…yes-her laugh was addicting. Oh yes…and it was always fun going to the “second hand” stores to see what kind of bargains we could get. Claudia, my 2 year old daughter, would receive random boxes in the mail of clothes that MeMe (grandma) Tammy would find while bargain shopping. Tammy was a fun step-mom…she always had a project. Like when they lived in their first house in Ford…oh geezz. They had I think 8 cherry trees in the back yard so we decided to pick all them darn trees pit the cherries to makes pies and what not. I remember laughing because we were like 2 hours into the project and we looked at each other and thought, “what did we get ourselves into!” I know everyone who met her was and has been touched…she was so so so nice-sweet-loving-caring…on and on. Dad-I am so sorry you lost your Wife and Best Friend. I could not imagine losing my husband. Chancer and B-Keep your MaMa’s spirit alive…I know you have made her and Dad proud.

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